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Opinion: So Limp Bizket Is Back, But Who Really Cares?

Limp Bizkit Frontman Fred Durst

Eight dudes with sleeveless t-shirts in Idaho with multiple DUI’s are way stoked. Depending on the intensity of the turd known as “Gold Cobra’s ability to stink, a few rapes might happen, and perhaps a few bar fights in between Disturbed and Drowning Pool songs.

The single “Gold Cobra” has leaked on the Internet, and friend’s, this is like watching two 5,000 pound fat people fuck on a bed of fast food. It’s that hideous. First off, you’d think by now Fred Durst would have learned how to sing a song, or “rap” one, but clearly in his twilight years of pop culture, he’s resigned to the stupidest lyrics of his career, and the overall feeling is that graduating 8th grade was a challenge when he muses about such moral topics as “bitches getting in line” and venting about “haters.”

Sure Fred, I’m envious of your career, you’re a fucking millionaire who has sold millions of records to stupid people who in turn, have dragged their knuckles on the ground in support of your message of absolute banality.

After rehabs, and failed ventures without one another, it seems that these dudes are making one last stab at cashing in. I sure as hell know that’s what Wes Borland is doing, considering he’s the only one in the band that’s got a scope bigger than Adidas pants and corny red hats. His post LB bands were actually wildly entertaining, and good. Dj Lethal, on the other hand, can’t be forcing too many House of Pain reunions since Everlast has a lousy ticker, and well, they have like one popular song. The other dudes might have sold cars in the valley, or something. I’m not sure.

On the track “Golden Cobra” the band essentially re-assumes the recipe for their first record “Three Dolla Bill Ya’ll” and rips its own song “Counterfeit” off, almost blatantly, except middle age, and balding have gotten in the way of writing something that isn’t musically bankrupt. The track is almost embarrassing to think the men writing it in are in, or almost in their 40’s, and that’s almost as pathetic as the old guys who wear leather pants who chase the dream in rock bars every weekend, hoping this weekend, they’ll get signed.

Boys you had your shot, and made your money. The kids of today literally grew up on rap rock, and it’s a horse that’s been beaten to death. Anyone who came out alive on the other side, won’t be buying the record, and any radio DJ outside of Oklahoma won’t be playing it. When “Nookie” came out at the height of Limp Bizkit’s popularity, I hated it. But, I will be the first to admit it’s catchiness, and marketability in a world that was saturated with Backstreet Boys, and N’Sync.

Was it a musical revelation? No, but it was something that crossed the genre lines that made a lot of people fans of a music they had never considered liking. It brought a whole new crop of people into the arms of heavy music. Whether or not they stayed is a whole other bag of tricks. The track “Gold Cobra” is slow, boring, simplistic, and unconditionally been done to death. Please stop, or next time I will include the comment about Suicide and the Kurt Cobain tattoo I wanted to include, but felt it was too mean.

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