"Exposing New Music To The Blog-Reading Masses"
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As always spoilers are ahead. So grab a cajun margarita and a geisha girl fan and enjoy the show…
It’s been a long, blood-splattering season full of religion, fire demons, baby vamp bonding, budding gay romance and one mad god that just can’t stop flashing her O-negative soaked nether regions. While True Blood’s finale, entitled “Save Yourself,” left one huge glaring plot pot hole, there were enough piles of bloody goo, loose ends tied up and lingering questions left in the air to entice me to tune in next June to see where they land.
Last week’s episode ended with Russell Edgington, high off the blood of the most powerful fairy in the land, getting ready to gorge on fae buffet. And at first it looks like Claude, Sookie and the rest of the burlesque troupe are going to be sucked dry. Sookie isn’t much help, being her lighting fingers are on the fritz–tsk, tsk that’s what you get for wasting so much of your battery life during your self-loathing phase. At the last moment though, Eric swoops in, stakes Russell and saves the day. Sad to see Russell go (him and Steve were so much fun together), but judging from Bill’s new look, we won’t be without a charismatic lunatic for long.
While it makes sense Eric would want to stake Russell once he came out of the Lilith haze, what happened to Warlow? The writers have built up this whole “your great-great-great to the fifteenth power granddaddy sold you to a vampire” backstory through physic connections and Bud Dearborne starting a hate group, only to completely abandon it in the finale. I mean, if there was ever a moment for Warlow to show up, make a bad ass entrance, eviscerate Russell and claim Sookie as his (not to mention nibble on a few fae for good measure), it was this moment. Again, it was great seeing Eric exact revenge, but I can’t help but think they could’ve pushed the whole Warlow arc to next season if they were just going to let it wither away.
As is custom, after Sookie’s life is saved, she must put it in jeopardy within the next five minutes, so, along with Eric, Nora–who I must say is mighty uppity when comes to the rest of her “family”–I mean ragging on Pam for being a prostitute? Chile take a look in the mirror and think of the tricks Lilith had you turning before you judge, m’kay?–Tara and Jason, who’s seeing and talking to his dead parents courtesy of the elder fairy’s super lightning blast, she heads off to the compound to rescue Pam and Jessica. Jason, amped up on vamper hatred and the approval of fairy-vision Mama and Daddy, lays waste to the secretary, a.k.a vampire Joan Harris, and the guards, while Eric and Nora do major damage upstairs.
Meanwhile Bill and Salome continue to screw each other and screw with each other’s heads as Lilith has convinced both of them they are the chosen one. While it was pretty obvious Salome was gonna be the one to bite it, I momentarily thought Bill would have a change of heart from the look on his face after he spotted Sookie on the security camera. That is until he flashed a devious smile at Salome as she took a shot of Lilith. I have to give Bill props for pulling a Claudia and poisoning her. Maybe he cued up Interview With A Vampire on Netflicks one night and got inspired? Even with a pint of full silver in her system though, Salome’s still nutty enough to laud Lilith’s choice in a leader, smiling as Bill stakes her.
Eric and Sookie arrive, and the latter tries to get through to him, explaining how he’s the most human vampire she’s ever known. She even pulls out the “if you ever loved me” card once again. But Bill’s not having it, explaining his whole post-mortem life has been full of alienation, self-torment and guilt. Then he reminds her of the sage warning he gave her the night they met: “vampires often turn on those who love them most.”
And with that knife plunged into her back he takes a shot and burst into a pool of blood. But lo and behold, he arises like a red menace, prompting Eric to scream at Sookie to run. And of course we cut to black. Infuriating of course, but the scene did underscore the episode’s title, as Bill saw drinking the blood as a way to save himself from a miserable existence and Eric instructed Sookie to haul ass and save herself so he could deal with whatever creature Bill has become. I can’t imagine how Bill’s ever gonna climb off this ledge.
In other vampire business, Pam gets saved by Tara, and proceeds to taste her cocoa mouth. This mother/daughter/lover twist should make for some interesting scenes next season. Less lucky in matters of the heart is Jessica, who confesses her love to Jason like the eternal teenage girl she is, only to have him bluntly say he can never love a vampire. He might as well as have shot her with silver-tipped, cherry wood bullet.
The vampires aren’t the only supernaturals that have devolved into abject nihilism. JD has taken to force feeding all the werewolves vampire blood, causing Martha to drive up to Alcide’s dad trailer with a strung-out Rikki in the back seat (strung out or not, I can hardly begrudge her “take your pants off cowboy” comment to Alcide). After attending to Rikki, he decides to take on JD again, and, amped up on V, proceeds to slaughter him. I mean flawless victory slaughtered him. Keeping with the theme, Alcide’s decision to kill and JD and assume the role as pack master not only saves the pack, but himself from becoming a pathetic lone wolf like his dad.
Speaking of flawless victories, Sam pulled off quite the fatality on Roslyn after Luna couldn’t hold it together as Steve Newlin and shifted back to herself. Turning into a fly, zipping into your opponent’s mouth and shifting back so she’ll explode? Why was that never an animality on Mortal Kombat? I assume they grabbed Emma and escaped, and now that Russell is dead and Steve’s too scary to pursue them, they’ll probably live happily ever after for five seconds. Or at least Sam will actually show up at Merlotte’s.
At the very least, he should try to check in, ’cause he may need to replace a pool table fairy quadruplets were born on. Then again it’s not like he felt the need to throw it out after he and Daphne fooled around on it. But I digress. Maurella popped out four little ones in what had to be the oddest, most orgasmic birth sequence ever shown on television. Even Ms. Lafayette (who along with Arlene and Jane Boathouse made for hilarious matinee ladies) had to clutch her pearls at that show stopper.
Andy’s a father now, but girlfriend/midwife–seriously girl, the midwife for your boyfriend’s fairy mistress’s babies? I can’t decide if she’s a saint or just really desperate–Holly isn’t to thrilled about it, if her “you’re a dick” insult is any indication. I suspect he may be a single dad, since Maurella walked out on her kids. I guess the Moulin Fairy doesn’t offer free daycare. Though Sookie could probably make enough coins to buy out Warlow’s contract on her with all the babysitting she could do for those little telepaths.
And so wraps up another season with the supernaturals and eccentric human denizens of Bon Temps. What did you think of “Save Yourself?” How do you think this season stacks up to others? Discuss.