"Exposing New Music To The Blog-Reading Masses"
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As always, spoilers are ahead…so read on if you’d just love to come to dinner…
Last night’s episode did what every penultimate episode in every season of True Blood has always done: ratchet up the crazy and leave so many cliffhangers that all of us hookers will have at least a passing interest in watching the finale. And ‘Sunset’ did just that, tossing all the characters’ (with the exception of Terry, Arlene and Lafayette) fates up in the air to make way for the inevitable shit storm that will rain down next week.
Let’s begin with Eric and Nora shall we? After watching the loon come out of Russell and turning over the image of a ghost of her maker getting his throat ripped out by Lilith in her mind, Nora finally snaps out of her haze and realizes the destruction Godric warned them of is coming to fruition. Salome senses a change in her protege, but like her brother, Nora’s well versed enough in deception that she convinces her she’s still a servant of Lilith. She even hits his fake-smile-into-grimace face dead on. Afterwards she and Eric have a meeting in his bedroom, where he promises they’ll escape this domicile of the damned. At least after they finish fucking like champions first.
Eric makes good on his promise, snapping a general’s (a.k.a Mr. Swedelson from Girlfriends–too bad, because he was almost out the door after scoring an epic own over the vamps) neck and convincing the other Authority members to let them go smooth things over with the human military. Once on the road, he stakes the two guards in the front seats, then he and Nora fly off into the night.
Less successful in making a permanent escape from the compound is Jessica. Once it dawns on her just how many gallons of the Kool-Aid Bill’s drunk, she tries to pull a fast one, saying she wants to turn Jason Stackhouse (Jason as vampire? He already has their sex drive…) so they can be together. But Bill sees right through her and calls her bluff, sending her off with guards in tow to become Jason’s maker. Silly baby vamp, lies are for grown folks! Though she pulls off a good switch and bait once she arrives in Bon Temp, biting Jason and pretending to drain him before he pops up from the grave and pumps her two escorts full of wood.
Though Jason’s clearly pissed at the evening’s events, Jessica can’t help but confess that if she had to spend eternity with someone, it’d be him. Aww, foreshadowing are we? I doubt it, but it’d worth it to see a I’ve-just-been-turned sex session between Jason and Jessica. But I digress. Free for the time being, she heads to Fangtasia to seek refuge, but Pam isn’t exactly in a charitable mood. Unless “since when did I become a halfway house for baby vampires,” is the new slang for “my house is your house.” However she relents once Jessica says she knows Eric’s whereabouts and lets her stay the night. This leads to another sweet “let’s be friends” scene between Jessica and Tara, who seems enraptured by Pam’s “bite.” I’m sure this shift in their relationship will mined for comedic and dramatic affect aplenty next season, so I’ll store up on my best cocoa mouth jokes until then.
The slumber party breaks up when Roslyn, on the hunt for her progeny’s killer, walks in and quickly sniffs out Tara as the perpetrator. Just when it looks like she’s about to trade a severed head for a severed head, Pam takes the charge, earning her a spot in the Authority compound. Something tells me Eric and Tara will be our new dynamic duo next week, you know, with the maker-progeny bond being as strong as it is and whanot.
Whoever comes for Pam, they’ll have a hell of a fight on their hands, with Bill and Salome falling prey to Lilith’s trickery that each of them is the chosen one. Which of course will make them turn on and kill each other. This girl and her naked O negative soaked skin are doing stunt and shows, and I’m ready for somebody to drive a stake in her.
At the beginning of the season, I half-jokingly predicted that Sookie would head up a fairy army against vampire tyranny, and wouldn’t you know, I was right! Who knew the Moulin Fairy would be ground zero for viva la revolucion? We also get to meet the Elder, who apparently has lived for so long and on so many different astral planes she’s become a babbling ADD case, doling out pieces of useful information about Warlow to Sookie one minute then quizzing her on her musical taste the next (happy to know me and Ms. Stackhouse are for Boyz II Men). Just when she’s about to give away the whole kitten kaboodle, Jason bursts in and informs Sookie that Bill and Eric have gone nuts, neither is playing white knight for her this time, and Russell is after her…again.
Tired of running, she rallies the fae troops to fight back, using Jason as bait, (or as Steve Newlin and Russell call him, a hunk sandwich–Rusell slapping Steve’s grabby hand away was hilarious) to lure the former king of Mississippi to their hideout. Unfortunately things don’t go according to plan, as he drains the Elder dry just as she’s about to banish him to some nether realm. Too bad; I really wanted to see if we had the same taste in movies. But what really blows is her death reveals the club and the rest of the fae, causing Russell to practically wet himself (wait do vampires pee? We know they don’t take dumps) with glee. My guess is Warlow will protect what’s his and keep Sookie away from Russell. As for the rest of the fairies? Nice knowin’ ya.
In human news, Arlene and Holly’s relationship is progressing a relatively sane pace. Holly’s boys–at least one of them anyway–apologize to Andy for exposing his behind on Facebook, Andy tries to assure them he’s a good guy, the three awkwardly shake hands, then Andy makes himself look completely uncool by trying to give a fist bump and a hi-five. If you closed your eyes you’d swear it was Full House. That is until Maurella makes a surprise appearance and lets Andy know that their half human/half fae baby is coming.
When he tries to give her the brushoff, Maurella explains in a calm, menacing tone that backing out on the E.T. light finger pact they made would be a nothing short of a declaration of war. Clearly Maurella is naive of human affairs; the real declaration of war is to sic the child support lawyer on that ass. Either way, his impending fatherhood leaves Andy in quite a dilemma; Holly’s a pretty laid-back, go-with-the flow kinda gal, but everyone’s got their limit.
Oh, and we got to see Alcide be all shirtless, heroic alpha male, blasting baby vamps to bits and inspiring his dead beat dad. All of which almost makes up for his absence last week. Almost.
A few predictions for the finale:
–Bill comes out of the haze and stakes Salome; or Lilith turns them against each other and he still stakes Salome. Either way Salome’s not living to see season six.
–Russell gets to a gorge on a few fairies and tosses a few to his boo Newlin. Right before they’re about snack on Sookie, Warlow comes and rips Steve and/or Russell apart. Warlow comes to claim what his, but Eric and Bill intervene and kill him.
–Pam begrudgingly does what Sam asks and helps Luna, if only because it helps her in someway. They grab Emma and try to escape, but are stopped by a member of the Authority (most likely Roslyn). A preamble of bitchitude is followed by a showdown of stilettos. Then, just when Roslyn is about to end Pam(’cause she’s older/much stronger and all that jazz) Tara and Jessica save the day. Or they catch a beatdown and Eric swoops in at the last second and rips Roslyn’s rib cage out. Take your pick.
–Alcide will give the fairies some assistance from the werewolves in their battle against Russell. Maybe Rikki will come by and give him some…inspiration to return to Bon Temp. It is the finale after all…I’ll need some Alcide sex to tied me over until next summer.
What do you think will happen? And what did you think of ‘Sunset?’ Discuss.