"Exposing New Music To The Blog-Reading Masses"
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As always, spoilers lay ahead. So either read on, or ciao bitches…
Last week’s episode “In The Beginning,” ended with a shot of Eric, not exactly a paradigm of virtue, pale-faced (well more pale-faced than usual) and looking remorseful while the rest of the gang, gone off ancient blood, saw visions of Lilith and gorged on a wedding party. Even more surprising when you realize the first vampire you’d expect to get all “what have I done,” would be Bill Compton. Little did we know that turn of events would foreshadow the end of this week’s episode, “Somebody I Used To Know.” Don’t worry, we’ll get to Alcide in a minute.
Let’s start with the vampires. Everyone returns to the mansion/compound, still blitzed out of their skulls and babbling about how they communed with Lilith/god. Eric, having been shown the light by Godric’s spirit, dismisses the holy chatter with a succinct “we were high as fucking kites.” Words that have been spoken after a night spent on Bourbon street since time, or at least New Orleans, began. But I digress. He gets Bill to snap out of the haze, but the rest of the Authority are convinced seeing Lilith’s naked tig ol’ bitties (oh Russell you blasphemous bastard) are a sign their mission to rule over humans is a righteous one.
Salome in particular, is hell bent on obeying Lilith’s commandments, bringing Bill into her bedroom for a late snack, the milk and cookies in this scenario being a woman chained to the bed. Bill plays his “I was once a husband and a dad” card until Salome hits him with a low blow–”If you really loved your human children, why didn’t you make them vampire.” It’s enough to send his mind back to Baton Rouge in 1910, where he visited his daughter on her sick bed, refusing to turn her even as she cried her inside were rotting.
To be honest, this flashback came off as an afterthought by the writers. I mean, how convenient is it Salome hits on the one thing that would stomp out the last of Bill’s humanity and make him cross over to the dark side? And how is it Bill is so humane and sophisticated in 1910, when just five years earlier he was draining hookers dry and getting in Eric’s face like a pissed off shih tzu? Especially since, at least according to season two’s timeline, he was knee deep in his nihilistic phase with Lorena until at least the late 1920s? The whole thing was unnecessary, because the look on Bill’s face as he tore into a fresh neck was more than enough to convey something was different about him.
Eric tries to convince Nora that Godric would be appalled by her conversion, but she counters by saying the pacifist spirit he saw was an poor’s man version of the vampire who made them. She’s got a point; while his ghost may be right about Lilith, the Godric we met would probably wince at seeing a mosquito take a few slurps out of a dog. Eric’s odd-man-out status becomes crystal clear when the group meets to exchange strategies on how to crush mainstreamers. While everyone else suggests the usual, take-power-from-behind-the-scenes political schemes, Bill lays out a showstopper: bomb the True Blood plants so all vampires, sanguista or mainstreamer alike, will be forced to dine on humans. Eric, looking genuinely dumbfounded, asks “what are you doing?” To which Bill replies “evolving,” before taking a sip of his drink. All that was missing was some asthmatic breathing, storm troopers and Darth Vader theme music.
While Eric’s future is in question, Pam and Tara are getting along just fine (peep the maker/progeny matching Asian-inspired outfits and up dos). At first it looks as if Pam is back to treating Tara like a pet when she calls her stupid after she insults a racist former classmate. But surprise! Mama’s got a present for her baby vamp in the basement! After glamouring the girl into thinking the sun (or in this case the moon) rises and sets on Tara and her gorgeous cocoa mouth, Pam exits with a “have fun,” like a cool mom tossing her kid the keys to the Lexus. Hopefully Tara will catch Pam in a “spare the rod” mood more often.
Her night went a hell of a lot better than Jessica.’s Tricked by a member of Hoyt’s new hate posse, she’s silvered and curled up in a corner bleeding when he discovers her. After hurling some garden variety vamper slurs, the boys leave Hoyt alone to finish her off, but true to form, he lets her go. Well almost true to form, as he fires off a F bomb at Jessica when she thanks him. And judging from the scents Sam and Luna were picking up, Jessica may not be the only woman in Hoyt’s life who’s spent time at that clubhouse.
Speaking of shifters, I had a “hell no/WTF” moment the minute Luna morphed into Sam and passed out. I mean, didn’t we already go down this road with Tommy? And who did Luna bump off to get her skinwalking abilities? If not for the superb comedic skills of Sam Trammell, this story line would have been a total bust. Not too many actors can pull off playing opposite themselves as woman who’s shifted into the body of a man that’s their very likeness. And turning into a cobra to get that douchebag to confess was a nice touch. But I’m grateful Luna came back just before they kissed. That would’ve been too bizarre, even for True Blood.
Now on to the werewolves. Alcide, Alcide Alcide! After being taunted for the past few episodes with bedroom romps ruined by gals who can’t hold their liquor (I’m talking to you dairy maid!) and shirtless “training” sessions, we were duly rewarded with the glorious sight of a full-on Alcide sex scene. Oh my goodness…the growling, the hair pulling, the muscles, that ass, tossing Rikki across the room and pouncing on her…*wipes off keyboard and regains composure* Chile, it was well worth the wait! But back to the lecture at hand. It’s a good thing the big bad wolf got some love, because after catching a beat down by JD during the packmaster challenge, Alcide is gonna need someone to help him lick his wounds. Hopefully we’ll get to watch.
Sookie may have missed out on that earth-shattering experience, but men don’t seem to be her top priority these days; ridding herself of her fairy magic is. At least until Jason comes along, has another heart-to-heart and convinces her to hold onto her powers, at least until they find the vampire who murdered their parents. After heading back to the Moulin Fairy to ask Claude about her other fae abilities, they help her channel her mother’s memories of the night she died.
But Sookie being Sookie, she ends up not only inhabiting her mother’s spirit, but the vampire who killed her as well. Claude freaks out while Jason berates him for possibly getting Sookie into danger (now Jason, even you aren’t that thick; you knew it was only a matter time before that happened), but she manages to figure out the vampire’s name, Warlow. And apparently he can sense her spirit/psyche as well, as he comes to her in the bathroom and tells her she’s his. Hmmm, a heroine and a villain whose minds are magically connected? Very Harry Potter wouldn’t you say? And was I the only one who thought Warlow was giving off major Freddy Krueger vibes with the fedora and appearing to Sookie all shadowy and dreamlike?
Lafayette, driving home after his latest near-death brujo experience, opens Jesus’s first aid and heals his stitched lips with a vial of V. Lo and behold, the camera pans out to find Jesus is riding shotgun, and the two share a short but sweet moment. But when he comes home to find Arlene and Holly in his driveway, he’s fresh out of sweetness and full of the best shade he’s thrown all season–”Hooker I ain’t in the helping business no more. I’m in the fuck off while I smoke a blunt business. And business ’bout to pick way the fuck up!” And Miss Thang means business, charging Arlene $300 to get rid of the Ifrit and cure Terry. The power he once feared is now his meal ticket. Hustler Lafayette is back and in full effect!
However, La La quickly learns his medium magic is not to be trifled with when, in the middle of serving his best “Molly you in danger girl”/sister Cleo realness during a seance, the spirit of Zepheria, the woman Terry shot, swan dives into his mouth and explains she’ll only remove the curse if either Terry or Patrick kill each other. A few episodes back I moaned at the thought of Lafayette’s brujo plot merging with Terry’s fire demon, but it turned out better than I expected, if only because Nelson George was so entertaining to watch. Who will live is anyone’s guess, but I’m thinking Patrick will take a dirt nap before Terry.
–It was hilarious watching Steve Newlin and Russell having a kiki and planning a cruising adventure during The Authority meeting. I see a BFF relationship on the horizon.
–Who wants to bet a member of the hate posse is the one who pulled a gun on Hoyt? Then again he did say a friendly face, so who knows.
So what did you think of “Somebody I Used To Know?” Discuss.